Friday, December 30, 2011

going going!

2011 leaves . This year was very eventful for me . I realized a lot of things .

1) You always get what you give .
2) Keep your faith with you , no matter what!
3) You are loved more than you know . Try testing :P
4) Your favourites give you a sense of belonging . Atif for that matter .

The 5th pointer -

Your biggest strength is your greatest happiness .

Think about point 5 and tell me if it made you smile .

Happy New Year :)



Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Will it ?

There are things sensed in silence.

 Delicately you undress your unclear thoughts to look how pure or ugly things can be. 

This bulb and it's yellow in my dark room , indicates the night will stay a little longer . 

Eager I am , to watch the sun rise ! :)

Will it finally ?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

To love , lies , Etc

Rudra was wondering what can work . Silently puffing his ciggarttes one after the other , ash making a sort of ant house on the floor and the remains lined up like scattered trains on a railway station. He was thinking about the station only, where he met Naina4 years ago. She was late for her train and would have almost missed it had Rudra not held her hand and help her run along. She was slow , in every work , in every phase of life . Rudra was fast. And this was the only thing that was opposite . Naina was very talkitive . She could charm all the uncle's , aunty's , bhaiya ji's and no matter what , she had her say in the end . She needs what she needs , and the world had spoiled her even more. The world had all this while given her whatever she wanted .

Things began to change and they became wonderful friends . Too often friendship becomes a necessity . Solitude is plenty and appreciated , but loneliness is killing. None of them was sure whether it was love or not. But they were sure that it will be very hard to find a companion , who will be able to share something better with them . Hence they decided to marry .

Like every new couple they were happy . But now . Rudra was wondering whether their story will end in a few days . He was reading a novel earlier, a story of how eternal love is and how it changes things for good . He saw Naina sleeping , and wondered if all this is true.

Naina was bold , audacious but slow , cute and slow in her work. Because her beautiful eyes made the world move around the sun , she was used to attention. The aura of her kajal and smile was overwhelming. And Rudra fell for it. It was only today , that he felt out of this centripetal force.

Rudra always knew Naina kept secrets . She wasn't a perfect lover , one that would say yes to a yes , no for a no. Never. Naina was on her own. Her independence was what Rudra loved , hence never questioned. She made decisions which were normally to be discussed between a couple , but she never did . Rudra respected and gave her all the space . Today Rudra hated himself for his every effort.

Naina was a liar. Rudra read her diary and got to know every moment's real version. The child that Naina said was cute , was not cute in her diary . The saree that Rudra gifted her , was not good enough in her diary . She did not enjoy at  the place where they place where they went for honeymoon and she lied about her pregnancy too.

He was so drowned in the circle of lies that his love seemed far from reality. Everything right in her world was wrong.

When you fall in love , it is your second life. You are born new , you begin to morph, all for good . But when you suffer a defeat in love , it gets bitter than death . May be , for Rudra , this was the same time .

Naina woke up and saw Rudra with her diary . "So you have read it all? " , she said .
Rudra nods .

Naina thought it was the time to confess , truths, lies and beyond. Naina told Rudra that she was a psycopathic  liar. When she met Rudra , she noticed when they talk , she does not lie , not even compulsively. Her habit leaves her , her world becomes true , correct and pure . Rudra was her panacea . But her habit takes a toll on her , and she compulsively writes all the lies every night in her diary.

Rudra did not understand whom to believe - a pschopathic writer or talker .
She told Rudra truths about him , his habits , his mistakes and what she feels about them.

Rudra knew that this is someone whom he has always loved and this is the only truth that matters for both of them.

Love was always beyond truths ,  theirs was beyond lies too . To love ,lies , etc ....your ways are beyond conscience and mind .

Saturday, December 10, 2011

:) (:

Some day , I will get myself tatooed . 

Distinct remarkable traits of the soul beneath this flesh .

Someday will find words :)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

This picture

When I last came to see you , I was a little young. Not that I have grown old now , I was closer to you dear moment. I now feel , a little away. Commotion resides , the car blows the horn , an eveteaser whistles , the roadside baby cries , all this happens for a while till the sun sets. For a moment the world accepts this darkness . What next ? It moves on .

They all interupt me in remebering what that moment was about . It seems like a far fetched dream now , slowly trying to sound real , with me trying with all my strength to do the same.

Yes , it was winters , this season . Late evening , we all were tired , cold but very happy . Togetherness was striking . An year after , we all are at measurable distances , distances that do not drive friends away . I remember you saying , let's have a cup of tea . Isn't it still the same ? The need of a winter evening . Don't you remember me , with every cup of 'Chai' :)